Achievement rarely happens automatically in the real world. It’s easy enough to fall into contentment; to settle for a sub-par job, get used to an acceptable life, and expect that if the dreams you hold are meant to happen, they will naturally appear and change your life for the better.

I’ll tell you now: falling into contentment is the quickest way to end your dreams and stop your growth.

I don’t say this lightly. A few years ago, one of my cousins came to visit and, embarrassed, admitted that he’d been rejected from a job that he should have been a shoo-in for. I was shocked, as he had been the top of his class at university and interviews well. I asked him why they had turned him away, and he told me that the interviewer said that he didn’t “have enough fire in him.”

It all clicked into place.

You see, success might be hard to reach in university, but it is never hard to find. The path to achievement is marked with courses and assignments and guided by grades; you don’t need to chart your own direction.

The real world is different. Your career is self-directed, your dreams self-noted, and your growth self-tended. Without purpose, direction, and careful reflection, your personal and professional growth may not align with your goals. Like my dear cousin, you risk losing your determination – your “fire” – and falling into the dangerous trap of contentment.

My cousin eventually did manage to stoke the fire of his ambition and land his dream job, but it took time and work. To find similar success, you will need to do as he did, and keep to the three R’s of purpose-driven growth: reflection, reason, and the intention to rise above the obstacles you face.

Reflect

“The real man smiles in trouble, gathers strength from distress, and grows brave by reflection.” -Thomas Paine

I think that Thomas Paine had it right – for men and women alike! Bravery isn’t something that develops on its own; it requires us to reflect on our fears and aspirations and gather our internal strength. Reflection is also vital to growth because it involves pausing to examine where we are, where we’ve been, and devise steps forward that are thoughtful and purposeful. After all, how can we move forward if we don’t know where we are currently?

Reflect has another meaning: to mirror. This definition has a role in growth too, as we mirror the traits we admire in others and cast these traits outward for others to imitate in turn, creating a cycle of positive reflection.

Reason

Reason has two meanings: there can be a “reason” for us to do something, and we can “reason” as a process of logic to understand. These two definitions are connected. And when it comes to growth, both noun and verb are essential.

After reflecting, you must find a reason to grow. You must also reason by finding a logical way forward. To quote another famous thinker: Galileo once said, “In questions of science, the authority of a thousand is not worth the humble reasoning of a single individual.” Questions around purpose, growth, and leadership are the same.

Rise

I think writer Washington Irving sums up this last milestone perfectly: “Little minds are tamed and subdued by misfortune; but great minds rise above them.”

We have a choice in our professional and personal journeys. We can opt to give in to the setbacks and challenges that life throws our way, or we can weather the storm and become stronger for our struggles. Those of us who reflect and reason will be equipped to rise above our misfortunes as better and more capable humans.

What are some setbacks that you’ve overcome? How did you do it? Comment below!