They say that every cloud has a silver lining, but it doesn’t feel that way when you’re indefinitely submerged in the shadows. While a silver lining might not surface right away, or ever, you can still cultivate positivity and stride toward brighter days. Sometimes, the fastest way to rebound after a tough blow (or three) is to temporarily make peace with it.
When you least expect it, life happen and its seems you are stuck in rut, whether it’s the loss of a job, an honor, money, a loved one, or something more abstract. In these situations, immediately seeking out a silver lining isn’t always a healthy way to cope. If you are a high achiever like me, you may immediately try to bounce back by strategizing. Instead, it’s time to take a step back, allow yourself to feel badly about a negative event. Grieving is a necessary part of life. Plus, if the situation stems from your own actions, feeling these emotions will allow you to learn from your mistake and avoid repeating it in the future. Do some reflection, take care of YOU and then dream again. Put your big picture back in front of you and dream again.
Ignore low hanging fruits. Waiting for a silver lining to appear magically like Prince Charming to steal you away and make everything alright will only cause you more pain and devastating results in the long run. Instead, take advantage of that bronze lining and use it as a stepping stone towards your dreams. Don’t worry, it doesn’t mean you are settling for less.
Greek mythology had the Phoenix, a bird that died in the fire and heroically rose from the ashes, reborn. Christians have Jesus resurrecting from the dead – and it’s interesting to note that at the time of crucifiction, it seemed like the end, when in reality it was only just the beginning. Rebirth and resurrection can be found everywhere, even in pop culture. Think of all the stories we tell of early-stage “failures” like Oprah and Abraham Lincoln, remaking themselves into larger-than-life successes. Humans gravitate to these rock-bottom-turnaround stories for a reason. It’s because we’re all touched by difficult times, and sometimes a rough patch swells to the proportions of a black hole before that shiny cloud shows up.
If that sounds too negative, consider this: A seed must first die before it grows. Bad times, disappointments, or failure is not what stops you from reaching your dreams, accepting defeat is. The ability to learn from mistakes or the inner strength to rise above dark times, is usually what gives us the strength to remake ourselves and follow our dreams. This is the story of successful dreamers, and it’s found over and over again throughout history, and pretty much almost every movie that’s ever been filmed
‘Every problem introduces a person to himself’ – John McDonnell
Pain can be a great motivator. Each time we encounter a painful experience, we get to know ourselves a little better, as long as you don’t hold onto it for too long. The most healthy response is feel what needs to be felt while using the downtime to focus on yourself and lay the foundation for a brighter future. When fragmented by loss, your psyche benefits when you steadily plot a course out of your current situation. Dreams never come true without forethought and hard work, after all.
Remembering that most negative situations are opportunities to create better tomorrows helps you sort through your emotions and, when the time is right, get back onto your feet faster. This is a chance to reevaluate. Ask yourself whether you’re truly happy with aspects of your life and work. Usually, rather than simply regaining some semblance of what was lost, a pivot is necessary. In other words, now is the time to chase dreams, switch career paths, break free from destructive tendencies, or focus on personal growth.
Bad times can call out humility in us, and help us show more compassion for others. A simple practice of gratitude, like welcoming the morning by jotting down a few things you’re grateful for, can pay off tremendously. Studies have shown that practicing gratitude helps you become happier and healthier. You’ll feel more optimistic, sleep better, have more energy, and be better equipped to help others. And it doesn’t need to be only major things you’re grateful for. Don’t wait to practice gratitude until after you get your job back or experience some other monumental shift. Praise the little things, too. A delicious slice of cake. A good movie on Netflix. A rainbow. A stain that comes out of your favorite shirt. Nothing is too small to warrant notice and recognition.
Compassion functions similarly. Helping others can reduce your own stress, lift your depression, improve your immune system, and bring you happiness. We now know that the act of giving is equally or more satisfying than the act of receiving. So until life throws you bouquets of daisies, toss some flowers towards someone else. Gratitude and compassion may help dissolve any remnants of entitlement you’re harboring, clearing away a huge roadblock to your progress. Perhaps most importantly, practicing gratitude and compassion bolster your confidence, which is essential fuel for reinvention.
The one constant in life is that things are constantly changing. This means your silver lining is bound to shimmer into view sooner or later. In the meantime, make sure you’ve got a plan in place that you’re working towards every day. That way, when your cloud floats into view you’ll be ready to grab on, hold tight and wield your alchemical magic to transform silver to gold.
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